


Wei Wuxian & the truth behind his sleepless nights

by jc_aka_why_me



Category: Mo Dao Zu Shi, The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Falling In Love, Healing, Love, M/M, Other, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:55:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22299682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jc_aka_why_me/pseuds/jc_aka_why_me
Summary: Who is so one dimensional that something is how it seems at first glance?Where is something misbehaviour, where only misjudgement?
Relationships: Jiāng Fēngmián & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn
Comments: 3
Kudos: 37





	Wei Wuxian & the truth behind his sleepless nights

Wei Wuxian honestly didn't favour nights all that much. It might've seemed like it, but he had grown terribly great at acting anyway.

In his early childhood, nights had been.. cold, full of loneliness and tears and his growling stomach. He rarely to never slept at night even during those years, because in the dark he wasn't able to see the dogs coming.

The only thing worse than being able to see dogs - Was being unable to do anything but hear them.

Even after being taken in by Jiang Fengmian & his family,.. He had never truly managed to get rid of this habit of his. The habit of pulling through most of the night.

It was one of the things only the former Jiang Sect leader seemed to realise. He always got bashed on & judged for going so easy on that child that wasn't even his. But how could he have been hard on a child that was so full of trauma, fear and loneliness? It was precisely because Wei Wuxian wasn't his actual son, only the treasure of his deceased friend that he was taking care of.

At the end however it turned into Wei Wuxian's red string of fate throughout his entire life.. that his reasons never mattered, only his actions were getting taken in and judged. But who was really that one dimensional? No one, yet no one cared.

However, his barely fixed sleeping habits got entirely crushed once the Jiang Sect had been crushed as well. Even more so as he lost his core, turned into the on a wrecked mountain living Yiling Patriarch.

The nightmares were terrible - Reality even harsher. He spend his time working & working & working, until he would collapse; unable to even clean up the tiniest bit.

He had to distract himself. It wasn't a choice not to do so. & yes, he kept acting - yet those that would actually take a close look, would've noticed.. but yet again, no one did.

It wasn't until the tragedy that A-Li's death was, that Wei Wuxian wanted to sleep. No.. He didn't want to simply sleep. He wanted to sleep forever, with no dreams or waking up to the reality that had formed.

And he did, but once again - It didn't matter. However, even though he was running away, it felt so good as everything turned dark & remained this way. The last things he had seen were good memories, imaginations of how the future should've been; but never got a chance to turn into.

At this point, he wasn't expecting what would happen in the future. He got ripped awake.. Met Lan Wangji.. Got forced back to Gusu &..

Laying there, unable to move, atop of the stiff Lan Wangji.. He didn't even realise how he fell asleep. He neither took it in for quite a while that whenever Lan Wangji would actually be his pillow, mattress or physically close.. He could sleep, without stirring or nightmares.

Wei Wuxian didn't notice, not until they weren't going to share the same bed. He didn't want to sleep. He wanted to run through the night, escape reality - Yet again.

~♡~

Years passed, yet every so often Wei Wuxian would think about those things. At random times. Whether it be as they entered an inn & took a look at the bed. Or just with looking at his husband. Or sharing the same bed, snuggled up, after making love.

It was one of the many things he should tell Lan Wangji one day.. But as selfish as it might be, Wei Wuxian bathed in how things had changed.

That he had a tiny something from his past in secrecy that he had hated, that now had turned out so differently.

He loved nights. He was looking forward to each single one of them. Not even the sex. Just.. laying there together, listening to one another breath.. Not being alone, not being scared, or hungry, or hurt with no one there - like it had been so often in his previous life.

Lan Wangji was far more needed emotionally, mentally from Wei Wuxian than he could even guess. More than anything else could be, even air or water. If a person would need the sun to live - Wei Wuxian had been saved by his own personal universe that he couldn't live without any longer.

& he was amazed, every day again.. by how much the universe could make you feel, just by taking a simple glance.


End file.
